I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize