...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
