Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize