Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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