By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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