I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
