I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
