halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
