So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize