so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
