i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
