I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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