But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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