That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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