windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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