the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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