it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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