Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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