SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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