Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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