she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
