i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
only if we run a train.
done.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
