Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
