Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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