She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!