just survived the first fart of the relationship.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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