her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
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i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something