I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!