She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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