Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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