she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
