i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
