I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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