Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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