so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
