Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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