Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
