I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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