hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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