Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
