i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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