Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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