it hurts more in the daytime
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
