I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can't special order awesome
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
