I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
