nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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