This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
