Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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