the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
where are my eyebrows?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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