Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?