There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.