Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE