Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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  (310): I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble (1-310): Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo http://tfl.nu/rwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (888) Bad night (558)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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  (480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix
  Replies (17) Good night (1023) Bad night (3030)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

  (214): View more from Texas

  i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

  (214): View more from Texas

  he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

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  (214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y
  Replies (26) Good night (997) Bad night (5122)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends

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  (905): dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends http://tfl.nu/gaeo
  Replies (16) Good night (1296) Bad night (3162)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

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  (802): the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME http://tfl.nu/i706
  Replies (51) Good night (666) Bad night (6901)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?

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  (740): I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover? http://tfl.nu/ok2o
  Replies (13) Good night (8108) Bad night (774)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Did you bedazzle the elevator?

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  (845): Did you bedazzle the elevator? http://tfl.nu/4rct
  Replies (2) Good night (3385) Bad night (700)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out

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  (480): He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out http://tfl.nu/x67i
  Replies (2) Good night (1919) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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  (609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv
  Replies (10) Good night (707) Bad night (2210)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

  (302): View more from Delaware

  yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

  (302): View more from Delaware

  wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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  (603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics

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  (904): It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics http://tfl.nu/x92g
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?

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  (512): I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day? http://tfl.nu/bpfn
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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  (301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (387) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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  (775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (449)

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