i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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