He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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