too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My pussy is not your playground.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
