he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize