the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
