i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just had sex on a roof
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
