Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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