Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
