NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
being pregnant is like rehab
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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