You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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