my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
