yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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