Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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