covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
