I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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