I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
