There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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