just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
