I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
