haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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