What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
