He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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