I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
